Tihar in eight nights

If you spend Tihar in Nepal you are basically eating sweets and watching candles for a week. This is correct and I support it. But here is what's actually going on, day by day.

Day 1 — Kaag Tihar (the crow)

A small plate of food gets put on the rooftop or front steps for the crows. Crows are the messengers of Yama, god of death. We are buying their goodwill. This is a one-minute observance. The streets are quiet.

Day 2 — Kukur Tihar (the dog)

The dog gets a marigold garland, a tika, and snacks. This is the day the internet loses its mind every year because the photos are extremely good. If you do not have a dog, find one — temple dogs and street dogs are absolutely included.

Day 3 — Gai Tihar / Lakshmi Puja (the cow, and the goddess)

Cow in the morning — same garland-and-tika treatment. In the evening, every doorway gets cleaned, decorated with rangoli (rice-flour and coloured-powder patterns), and rows and rows of oil lamps are lit to welcome Lakshmi, goddess of wealth. This is the night Kathmandu becomes unrecognisable. Walk anywhere — Thamel, Patan, your own street — at 8pm. The city is on fire in the prettiest way.

Children also come around in groups singing "Bhailo" — a kind of Nepali trick-or-treating without the trick. Give them a few rupees.

Day 4 — Govardhan Puja / Mha Puja

Newars celebrate Mha Puja, the worship of the self. Yes — you. Your own body and life-force. There's a mandap drawn at home, sweets, butter lamps. This is also Newari New Year (Nepal Sambat).

Day 5 — Bhai Tika

The big one. Sisters tika brothers with seven coloured stripes (saptarangi tika). There is a long ritual, garlands made of makhmali (cockscomb) flowers — the only flower that lasts the year, symbolic of the brother's long life — and an enormous plate of sweets, fruit, and dakshina (cash). Brothers reciprocate. Phones blow up with cousins-of-cousins coordinating logistics. If you have a sister, today is when she's keeping you alive.

And then

It ends quietly. The marigolds get composted. The diyas come down. The deusi-bhailo singers move on. The city goes back to itself, slightly heavier from the sweets.